giving up

So I gave up on a friend last night and I don't know what else to say other than it broke me. I never thought it would hurt this much but he has been in my life for a long time and now hes not. I love him very much and on most occasions want to be with him but that changed very drastically when things got physical this weekend and he told me AFTERWARDS that he had a girlfriend. Big mistake on his part. And then he calle me yesterday to freak out about lying to said girlfriend. I don't want to be unsympathetic but fuck him. I dont need to hear about it. All I wanted for a long time was to be with him. But that feeling is definatly gone and hopefully won't be coming back.

the other guy I've been seeing...I dont really know what to say about that. I've been holding back with him for two reasons....another girl and this other guy i just let go. I think that now that the othe rguy is out of my life I could very likey fall pretty hard for this guy. I already love him but I think the in love thing is gunna happen soon. I just hoope that it works out even for a little while because i hate being alone...and i hate not having anyone to call at 3am just cause im not feeling good or when i need to talk and my dumb friends are all busy.